Job Interview

What is it about job interviews that are so disgustingly awful? Or is it just the job interviews I go for? 

Just once, I’d like to walk in, sit down, be totally informal and just ask the questions I want to ask. 

-What’s the wage/salary?

-What’s my best day look like? What’s my worst day look like?

-How lenient are you if I show up 10 minutes late every morning? How about if I stay 10 minutes extra every evening? 

I want to ask those questions and get a real answer. I don’t want to “dress up” and then spend 20 minutes in the waiting area comparing my lack of style to those around me. 

Seriously, who wears 5-inch heels to a job interview? Specifically, a job interview for a DETENTION OFFICER in a regional JAIL. I thought my skid-proof, shock-resistant, totally dull Sketchers were just screaming, “PICK ME! PICK ME! I’m responsible and reliable”. I hope they were looking for that sort of thing, not legs and ass and stilettos. 

In conclusion, job interviews suck. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m using all of my best defense mechanisms to take the pressure off myself so I won’t be disappointed when I don’t receive THE call. 

Then again, if I do receive THE call - what will I say? 

Fuck me.